I always knew something was bound to happen to me when I turned 31 on Februari the 14th. Born on valentines day, so most people think I must be on this earth to spread love and be loved. Spreading love is what I tried all my life (unconditionally in some cases) and I didn't expect anything back from that. Even if I get love back, I wouldn't have noticed it I guess, since the big wall of self protection that my body surrounds, wouldn't let it through, or at least absorbed all the nice feelings you get confronted with when receiving love. So 31 years on this earth, never a single relationship (at least if I leave out kindergarten).
Last saturday, someone suggested on a chat to have a meeting with the locals, so we can see each other face to face. Everyone enthousiastic, but in the end only 2 people could make it : she and me.
We had a very relaxing chat about simple things in life, like her kids, my work, her work, relationships (she was doing the talking here), the family past, about the chat where we met. We were just there to talk and nothing else, she wasn't looking for a man, especially not one that is planning on making a trip around the world and she was not in my selection of girls I was looking for (she has 2 kids).
We were just about to wrap up the meeting to go home into our safe (?) worlds that people tend to create around themselves and of course back to our responsabilities, she as a mother and owner of 3 cats and me as a owner of 1 cat and we looked into each others eyes.
We got struck by lightning at that moment and we sat there, seeming forever, looking into each others eyes, exchanging lightning. The local weatherman must have been worried by so much (local) lightning.
The thought I (and she) had was, hey this is not what should be happening, this is not what I have planned. But the message was clear : This is meant to be and everything is arranged already, so stop talking. All good times end at some point and she really had to go back to the kids and I back to my cat. In the car back home, with me as an aquarius, I started thinking : was this real, was this mutual (my biggest worry, since I cannot read women very well, when it involves myself), why does this happen and what next.
Still steaming from the lightning, not having my mind on my surrounding, but just with her and therefore not very hungry, a logical thing to do is start making spaghetti, so you can eat. During stirring the spaghetti I made a decision : This is good, possibly beatyfull, so let's go with the flow and let my heart take the lead for once in my life. The world trip I was planning may be postponed for a while, but on of the reasons I wanted to do this now, is that I had a child wish and I wanted to leave soon than being sorry for the next 25 years.
So here we were struck by lightning (it was a mutual feeling, but yeah, you might have guessed that), being confused by the weather phonomenon and realizing our planning we made for ourselves, meant squad, now this has happened.
It's now 3 days later and I will spare you the details for now, but we talk and discuss things that normal couples only do when they at least know each other for a couple of months, or in some cases even years.
I have no experience in the relation business and she is very experienced in the relation business and with 2 (wonderfull) kids. It feels like home already, although I still feel the need (after 31 years of not knowing anything else) to lead a bit of a life at my place, although I feel that will soon change too.
Not that I am chickening out or holding back, but telling her all my appointments in one telephone call and the bad news I am not staying over tonight, since I have to go to work tomorrow (it's an extra one hour drive from her place to my work..), may sound different to her, however not intended, I just don't want her kids (they are asking about living together already), to have the idea that I am around every day, since I cannot make that happen (yet).
Sigh. Life is great, if you don't think to much and therefor keep things simple.
Hmm.. Just was thinking about all my java projects that have a lack of attention (sorry everyone) from my part. I'll kiss and make up one day, I promis. Just got struck by lightning, thats all.
How was your weekend btw ?